Failure sucked every time we tried and didn’t succeed. Consequences sucked every time we made a bad choice and had to experience the aftermath of those choices. But at this point in my life, I’m looking back on all those failures and consequences in a different light. Every “fall flat on my face” experience of failure gave me a golden opportunity to learn one of life’s most important lessons – RESILIENCE.
Failures and consequences may be extremely painful in the moment, but (for many of us) this resilience is the very basis of the strength and courage we embody today.
As much as we want to protect our children, we’re not going to be around for every bump and bruise they experience on this wild ride called “life.” Nor should we. We are actually giving them a gift when we allow them to fail and experience the consequences of their choices.
We teach them how to get back up, dust themselves off, and try again.
I worry about my step-daughter feeling defeated just because she doesn’t succeed at everything the moment she attempts it. I want failure to be equally familiar as success. Not a stopping point, but simply a recalculate and try again point. I want failure to be a normal step or two on her path to success. Not limit her to only attempt or commit to things she knows she’ll be good at and will succeed at… Discarding all else.
Where’s the growth in that?
Allowing kids to push boundaries and, YES, fall on their face and experience consequences doesn’t mean we’re bad parents. It means we’re showing them that they have every resource available within themselves to pick themselves up and go again. If they don’t get that now…
They may be limited to the kiddie pool life experience where they give up when things get hard or, worse, never try for fear of failing.
There’s a vast ocean of opportunities available to those willing to be tumbled by a few waves. My hope is that Dear Alexa learns to laugh and rise again when tumbled… That she continues to get back on the surfboard and continue trying until she finally rides that perfect wave.
“Wasn’t that worth it?!”
Love, Stepmom
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