Warning – Snippy mood ahead. That’s what happens when someone deliberately seeks to harm my husband. I’m mama bear protective.
It’s been nearly four years since we were allowed to spend time with Dear Alexa on a holiday (4 to be precise) and even then it was riddled with the mom’s threats to send her “friends in uniform” over to arrest her father. Not much to celebrate.
Hijacking every holiday, birthday, and even Father’s Day has now become sport for mom – ensuring that Dear Alexa is unavailable and working her up to whatever point it takes so that Dear Alexa won’t even respond to a sweet sixteen birthday text. I imagine this huge neon sign flashing “I WIN” over the mom’s head every time she successfully disrupts what little connection dad and Dear Alexa have. I used to believe that winning was everything for the mom, now I know better…
Mom’s vengeance is everything.
Can you imagine being so angry that all you can think about is getting revenge? Gratefully, I can’t. But I do understand that you can’t be so full of toxic emotions and live a happy life – they simply don’t go hand-in-hand. Pick one or the other – Punish and harm another OR focus on living your best life. Again, I can’t imagine what would induce me to pursue the prior.
This past Father’s Day was painful. Not because Dear Alexa no-showed and ignored all of dad’s texts… That’s (sadly) on par for a day that honors amazing dads. What hurt my heart was that this dad is starting to believe that Dear Alexa doesn’t care… That the mom has successfully obliterated Dear Alexa’s kindness.
“I said no.” is the last text dad received and he is officially ready to give up.
We know the parental alienation drill – It’s not personal; They are the ones being hurt; You have to keep showing them how much you love them no matter how mean they are in return. But unloading hostilities on dad has become a sickening way Dear Alexa and her mom bond and become a united front against dad. So any kind of engagement only strengthens this bond.
At what point do you say enough and step away from the hostility? I’m not talking about cutting all ties. I’m talking about disengaging until the hostilities have settled – when you can connect from a positive space rather than forced and miserable.
A space where you no longer hope for any kind of outreach on Father’s Day – Not because your daughter wants to purposefully hurt you –
