The moment mom saw the terms outlined in the proposed agreement; she devised a plan for controlling and limiting the time Dear Alexa could spend with Dad. The official terms couldn’t really be argued as they were solidly aligned with what’s best for a minor child, so her attorney slyly attempted to delete the terms and change the subject.
“Squirrel!”
Attorney’s attempt to divert our attention from what’s most important.
The biggest perceived threat? Dad’s request that his daughter have “teenage discretion” to spend as much time with Dad during the upcoming summer months. Which mom quickly turned into scheduling a full summer European trip that didn’t include Dad at all. Gratefully (for us) and unfortunately (for Dear Alexa), mom is so focused on taking something away from Dad that she’s not really considering the events that will soon unfold.
It’s hard to be for anything when you’re so anti something else.
All we can do is be supportive, otherwise we’re going against the very terms we’re asking for in return. This short-sighted gain will ultimately define the rules moving forward. So Dad’s been listening and taking in all the details Dear Alexa shares without judgement or suggestion. Offering only enthusiastic support for a daughter who is researching and thinking everything through from her maturing teenage perspective.
Based on the emerging details of the trip, it’s going to be a trainwreck without some experienced guidance and consideration for what teenage girls would enjoy doing for an entire summer.
Sometimes a good parent needs to step back and simply love and support an amazing daughter’s budding ideas and desire for new experiences. Allow her to explore and make choices to learn a bit more about herself, her preferences, and how the world works.
Trust that one day she’ll be making plans to spend time with us – All the wiser for having this summer abroad experience.
Dear Alexa – We fully support this decision you’re making. You will learn more about yourself through travel and experiencing other cultures than you ever would learning about it online or in a classroom. Be open and curious. Most of all – have fun. There’s so much more to this world than this “American teenage girl” experience you are living.
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