“If you’re always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be.”
Maya Angelou
Good morning “Dear Alexa”
You’re at an age where you think everyone is judging your teenage rebellious behavior… Perhaps even me and your Dad. But I would like to clarify that there’s no judgement…
We are marveling in your self-discovery.
The bold confidence you have when you’re trying something new such as wearing KISS (70’s rock band) -worthy platform boots to school or your deepening understanding of the world. Your budding interpretations are marvelous indicators of the person you are growing into.
Your Dad and I have taken many non-traditional paths in our lives. We’ve experimented, pushed boundaries, failed (a lot) and eventually succeeded through countless trials and errors. We’re quite familiar with the judgments and “good opinions” of others that have attempted to keep us within the “safety” of limits.
What I’ve come to realize is that those “limits” people try to force upon us are actually their limits – Not ours. Even the most well-intentioned “advice” typically includes a hard dose of the self-imposed limitations of the person giving it. They share thinking they want what’s best for you or to protect you, sometimes never knowing that this is their own fear and limitation they are passing down.
Don’t accept limitations.
Some of my most magnifique life experiences have come about by taking the path less traveled – Rebelling against the “norm” and disregarding what everyone expected of me. There were difficult times when I felt judged by those I hoped would support me – more so at times when it felt like my world was falling apart. What appeared to be a series of mistakes, bad choices, and “falling flat on my face” failures, actually turned into the most fulfilling growth experiences of my life. Had I listened to the judgers or worried about what others thought of me, I may have missed out on incredible, leap-of faith, experiences that redefined my life.
I love when you push traditional bounds in search of your own unique path.
You will never learn anything worthwhile from watching another or being told how to do it. Push the limits and try everything. Get comfortable with “failure” – It will give you the inner strength to carry you when people judge you – give you courage to stand tall when other’s assume you’ve been defeated. Every success begins with a trail of failures.
When you make mistakes (and we all do!) – Own it. People who judge others are typically the ones who are too afraid to try something. Always have compassion for yourself – Growing up is a messy process. The moment you think you’ve got everything figured out is the moment the proverbial rug will be pulled out from under you.
Rebellion isn’t just a teenage thing – Adults call it “personal growth” and it requires a lifetime.
In any given moment, you have the ability to change directions and try something new. Which basically means that you’ll be trying on hundreds, perhaps thousands, of versions of “you” until you find a nice fit… and even then, that will be temporary as life will shift and you will reinvent again. Life is always changing, thus who we are is always evolving.
That split second pause your Dad and I take while you’re sharing a new idea? It’s never judgement, we are simply taking in the magnificence of you. We are listening intently and envisioning the new space you’re exploring. If it seems like we’re not attached to a particular phase you’re going through, you might be right. We know you’re evolving as quickly as you’re explaining it to us… That you have so many more phases to explore and experience. Never stop exploring who you are.
If ever in doubt, keep this one truth –
Don’t settle for “normal” – Strive for amazing!
One of the greatest gifts we can give you right now is our belief in you and who you are becoming. Give you a firm foundation to support you as you freely explore and expand your horizons. I look forward to the day when we get to share some of our “crash and burn” stories – You are never alone when you’ve been knocked down. Been there, done that! And I’m always here to share, support, and toast to your many-to-come successes.
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