Your education has become quite the subject of debate this past week. Despite the fact that you didn’t attend the 6th grade (Covid closures), failed the 7th grade (non-attendance for a plethora of reasons), and chose not to attend online summer school, you entered the 8th grade this week. These “educational failures” have nothing to do with how smart you are –
Just how determined you are to skip school and not do homework.
Even though your psychiatrist made it very clear that she believes teenagers need the social interaction that comes with physically going to school, your mother made the decision to enroll you in a “blended” online program. “Blended” being defined as requiring students to spend just 2.5 hours every week physically in a classroom. Which, of course, you didn’t attend, nor did you participate in any of the online classes, and now mom is telling everyone that the blended decision was made based on the psychiatrist’s recommendation.
Between your mom allowing (enabling) you to make your own decisions and the fact that there are absolutely no consequences being imposed by the school district, you are being set up for real-life failure. You have no way of understanding how the choices being made today will affect you in 10+ years. Your mom, on the other hand, does. Her need to be your best friend is outweighing her responsibility as a parent to help you make better choices.
I don’t blame you. You are making the choice any 13-year-old would be making if left to their own devices. However, your Dad and I are struggling with the damage being done. Presently, it’s the idea that you might be “graduating” from high school with the equivalent of a 5th grade education and no social or life skills.
We are stuck in a no-win situation. Condemned if we do, condemned if we don’t. For we know exactly what it would take to get you back in school and socially reengaged with friends. We also know the extremely high price that would need to be paid by pursuing “educational neglect” (yes, it is illegal to leave a minor in a situation wherein they are not getting their educational needs met) through the court system in which your mom thrives.
Total upheaval is certainly not something we want to put you through. So we have made the extremely difficult decision to take a step back and disengage from your mom’s attempts to swallow us whole in her quest to battle.
Please don’t take this temporary reprieve as weakness or defeat.
In time you will begin to recognize that you’ve been a hostage within your own no-win situation. In this moment of clarity, you will experience the relief we offer by stepping in and making some crucial decisions for you. You may not like it in the short-term, but these decisions will ultimately prepare you for life beyond anything you can conceive at 13 years old.
Until then, just know that life gets SO much better after Jr. High School and we want to make sure that you don’t miss it.
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