Warning: This was a very down day.
Not sure if it hit your radar or not, but Sunday was Father’s Day. No effort was made to connect with your Dad to let him know that you still think of him every now and then. Just like you refused to even acknowledge Dad’s outreach the week of your birthday.
It pained me to watch him checking his texts all day long in hopes that he may have missed something from you.
I really hope it was an oversight because it truly broke his heart.
As you know, we’ve been slowly making changes to your bedroom. A combination of creating a comfortable space for guests and our need to process the remaining unsettled energy of your absence.
We tackled your room yet again on Father’s Day. Perhaps Dad’s way of trying to feel a connection with you. What we realized is just how much time has passed since you’ve been gone as we boxed up everything that you’ve long outgrown.
As Dad once put it – “It’s like processing the loss of a child.” Only this loss is by Dear Alexa’s choice.
We understand the heavy influence you are under to stay diligently aligned with your mom – She has done an outstanding job (not a compliment) of alienating you to the point where you believe the anger and resentment you feel towards dad is your own.
Someday you will learn the truth that Dad’s love is unconditional.
All your childhood trinkets have been boxed up for safekeeping and clothes 4-sizes too small have been donated. Your art supplies have been meticulously organized and stored for we know this is one of your passions that you may want to keep close at hand. We added soft summer bedding and replaced your TV with a larger one. I know you think my thought decals are “cheesy” (you’re probably right), but I have a new one for you – Be Fearlessly Authentic is above your bathroom mirror. A reminder that you are beautifully unique and powerful.
This alienation experience is but a small bump on your road ahead. You will survive – You are smart and strong. More importantly – You will thrive the moment you believe you can.
Dad gave you a firm foundation of truth, hard work, empathy, and kindness. You may have felt restricted in a household of boundaries, but it will be these essential boundaries that will eventually set you free.
